Message in a Bottle
by Nightheart
Summary: (Has nothing to do with the movie) An introspective Relena fic, important authors note at the end for those who have followed my Dragens fic. Relena gets an impossible wish granted (and it's not what you'd think).


Relena looked out from her lonely perch on the beach as the wind swept through her hair. She valued what little solitude she was able to steal these days. In a life that was full of meetings and mediations, being shuffled off from one place to the next, never staying in one place long enough to set both feet in one spot, but always poised to take another step that would carry her to another place, she valued those few quiet moments when she could sit in one place and just breathe. The beach had always been _her_ place, she had gone there (when her family had lived in a place that had a beach, they were always being moved around) when she had been younger to find a place to be alone.

The lingering headache she had from her previous mediation, some trade dispute between the Trate Republic and The Peoples Democracy of Yenin, faded away in the face of the gentle soothing sounds of the sea and the wind tugging on her hair, begging her to let it free of its chignon to play on the breeze. It was sunset, and the sky was painted brilliant golds and oranges, clouds lit up seemingly from within by the firey orange ball that was slowly sinking into the ocean. Soon twilight would fall.

But to day was special…

Oh father, don't you know that it's my birthday now? she asked of the universe. The words she had spoken so long ago on her fifteenth birthday echoed back at her. It had meant a lot to her then, her birthday. Her father not being able to attend her party had been the most troublesome thing she'd had to deal with. It had been a more innoscent time, a time she sometimes looked back on with nostalgia, but a time she would not return to if given the choice to do so. As a child Relena had never felt quite right in her role as kind, obedient daughter of a politician and a socialite… There had always been this feeling of something missing…something that called to her soul. So often she had sat on a lonely shore by herself and wondered what it was. She knew now. Destiny.

Throughout her young life she'd felt as thought she'd been walking in a dream, a spring haze of parties and social events all lined up neatly in a row like pearls on a string. She'd had no direction, no sense of purpose, nothing to give her life any meaning. She'd just waltzed along being polite but distant to everyone, never really worrying about anything. The death of her father had startled her into wakefulness and she'd been making up for it with a vengeance. Now she was in a position to see how well and carefully he'd been secretly training her to fulfill her duties as a world leader.

Her father had brought her with him on many of his trips, had her sit on the sidelines while he attended meetings and councils, would talk with her about them and ask her for her observations of the people and situations. She had not known it then, but her adopted father had been subtly grooming her for the woman she would become and the role she would take on when she was older. She knew in her heart that he had not expected to die when she was still young. He had most likely envisioned being around for a few more years until she came of age at twenty-one and then fading into the background to let her take up her place as princess of the Sanc Kingdom. But nothing ever goes as planned, and he was taken from her before her training was complete.

Father never answered my questions directly, she mused, letting tiny grains of sand run though her hands and be bone away on the wind. Like time itself. She had a memory of herself as a small girl, sitting on a beach beside her father and watching the sunset. A young Relena had asked her father innoscently, how many grains of sand there were on the beach, fully expecting to be given an answer, a number whether real or made up. He father had looked down at her and said "First you must figure out how many grains of sand there are in a cubic foot, and then how many cubic feet there are on the beach, then once you have those you will have your answer." Young Relena had looked up at him in surprise…did he mean she was going to have to figure it out for herself? While she was pondering the odd shock of an answer not simply being handed to her she decided that the grains were going to have to remain purely hypothetical, for she had neither the time nor the inclination to count out a cubic foot of them. But she was satisfied that if she _were_ so inclined an answer could be reached. He had answered a great many of her questions in that manner, not giving her a plain black and white answer, but instead giving her the tools she needed to find an answer and letting her come to her own conclusions. 

Well, here I am father. Twenty-one. I'm all grown up, I hope mom and Pagan are there with you, wherever you are, and I wish… her throat closed up. I wish you were still here with me. I need your love and your wisdom and guidance now more than ever. I wish you could be here to celebrate my birthday with me, maybe we'd go out for cake and ice cream, one last time for old times sake. I certainly never expected to spend it alone. Tears slipped out of her eyes and the flamboyant hues of the sunset blurred before her. 

She hadn't wanted a huge party, hadn't had time for a party at all, and hadn't had the desire for one really. Without people who were close to you to make it special, there was no point in celebrating. Turning twenty-one couldn't be that big a deal could it? I mean, just because she was now considered to have crossed the threshold into full adulthood didn't really mean much to her. She had been an adult, with adult responsibilities for years…she didn't _really_ need some rite of passage telling her so. But still, part of her wanted one, very much. Well, it wasn't the celebration that she wanted, if all she'd wanted was a birthday party, there would have been several groups who would have been only too happy to throw her a bash, but it would not have meant anything. It would only have been another excuse for someone to host another hotbed for political intrigue…she'd just as soon go swimming in a shark tank.

I suppose what I really want is my family back to enjoy it with me. My mother to fret over my hair and my dress, and to talk about the caterers and fuss over the floral arrangements. Pagan here to wish me a happy birthday with his kind smile and a small wrapped parcel that always comes with a tiny card that says 'to the little princess.' But most of all, my father…I would give anything just to hear his voice one more time. If I could have one wish come true, that would be it, Just to hear his voice guiding me and giving me advice and strength. I miss him so…I miss them all so much.

In the past few years she'd noted that to her dismay their faces had begun to fade from her memory. It got harder and harder to recall the details, they sort of blurred around the edges. And no matter how hard she studied the old photos in the frames that always traveled with her, the faces disintegrated more and more as time went on. That made even more tears slip from her eyes. How long would it be before their faces and voices became no more than an indistinct haze in her mind?

Relena drew her name in the wet sand and watched as it was worn away by the waves. Would her memories and her past become like the name she'd drawn in the sand? Beaten away by the tide?

"Never forget how beautiful the Earth looks from afar."

It had been one of the last pieces of advice her father had given her. In the entire five years she'd been Vice Foreign Minister Relena always looked out the window in her shuttle as she left towards one of the colonies and remembered, murmuring to herself "I'll never forget Father." It was a ritual, a way of honoring the dead, more than she did with her actions.

As the sky darkened from sunset to twilight, relena scanned the sky, looking for the first star. She hadn't had a cake and hence hadn't had any candles to blow out, so wishing on a star would have to do. Who knew, maybe it stood that much better a chance of coming true.

Ah! There it was…a tiny speck of light just near the horizon. It could very well have been a colony or a satelite or a planet and not an actual star, but it was the thought that counted.

"Star light star bright, first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight," she murmured. She closed her eyes. "I wish I could hear my fathers voice, hear his wisdom and council, just one more time." 

An impossible wish…but hey, Relena was an impossible dreamer right?

"Excuse me," came a voice from her side. Relena hurriedly brushed away the tears and looked up. 

"Yes?" she asked the stranger, dressed like a messenger. "Can I help you?"

"Umm, I'm sorry to disturb you miss, but my company was asked to deliver a message to you on this date of this year by a man about sixteen or so years ago to a miss Relena Darlian with instructions that if we were to hand it to her in person and that if we couldn't find Relena Darlian, then we were to give it to Relena Peacecraft. I'm certain he must have been talking about you, Vice Foreign Minister."

"Well, I don't think it's likely he would have been talking about anyone else," She said cheerfully, mask in place and all evidence of grief safely tucked away. "How'd you find me out here?" She asked indicating the long lonely stretch of beach.

"Niether storm, nor distance nor sleet nor dark of night nor fire nor fog shall stop our company from delivering on time. That's our promise Miss Darlian."

"You mean you have guys combing the streets out there looking for me just so you can deliver this…package?"

"Yes," he said as if it were a matter of course. "Please sign here."

Puzzled. Intrigued, and very much bewildered…Relena signed on the electronic clipboard and accepted the package.

"Thank-you," said the nameless delivery boy.

"Thank-_you_," said Relena, puzzlement still on her face. She watched the delivery boy walk off down the beach to his truck, then looked down at the package in her hands. What could it be? A bomb? Who was it from? A friend, or an enemy?

"There's only one way to find out," she murmured to herself. The ripped off the tear strip on the cardboard siding and opened the flaps. She slid the contents out…

"A message device?" she said in surprise. The brand was about sixteen years old, a simple flat screen with a button near the bottom corner. Relena pressed the button, intrigued. The screen glowed slowly to life, there was a pause as the message started up, then the face of her father appeared on the screen.

"Father," she murmured. Tears sprang in her eyes and she blinked them back.

"My dear Relena," he said. "If you are receiving this message, it means that I am already dead. I regret not being able to be here to see you mature into a fully grown woman. I would have liked to see you come of age. As I write this message, you're safe and sound, sleeping in your new room. I regret the necessity of lying to you, and hiding from you the truth of your tragic past…but you're so young. The horrors of the fall of your kingdom should not be allowed to haunt you for the rest of your life. You are young enough not to remember anything. You have been with us for such a short amount of time, and yet, you're already so precious to me."

Here Richard Darlian paused. Seeming to gather himself, then continued.

"Relena, I know in my heart already, that you have a destiny. You will be the one who will bring about peace to our world, but your way will not be easy. I will do my best to prepare you, but you must be the one who will walk on the path. And it may indeed be a lonely path. But since I can not be here to offer you my advice and well wishes on this day, this echo of me will have to suffice."

Relena reached out to touch the screen as if it were a window, as if by trying hard enough she might be able to reach back into the past and touch the one recording the message. Tears were falling unbidden from her eyes and she let them fall, heedlessly.

"The world you seek to bring about will require much of you, I can only offer this advice. Trust people…you may be hurt, but it is the only way I know of to live life completely. There will be times when you will be alone, when there will be no light before your footsteps, you must become your own strength and find the light within yourself. You are strong Relena, stronger than you know. Do not fear your destiny, embrace it. Never loose touch with your heart, love is the greatest gift we can offer each other. Always consider the consequences of your actions, not just the consequences for yourself, but the ones for others as well, and take responsibility for them. The path you will walk will require fire and wisdom in equal measure. Find your strength in your compassion, in your love of others. If you cannot be the love of one, then you will be beloved by many. That is no small thing Relena, at times it may seem to be the most lonely and frightening thing in this world but remember this…. You were loved. Your mother and I love you and will always love you long after we have gone to the sea, no matter what separates us we will love you. This final thing I have to say, I know the work that lies ahead of you, I know the endless rounds of traveling and convincing and mediating and guiding; and I don't know how successful you will be or even if the world will allow your star the chance to rise. Your path will be difficult and strewn with thorns and there will be times when you feel like your duties and responsibilities make a cage that's closing in around you and choking your breath…"

Yes! Yes, that's exactly how I feel sometimes. Father understands so well.

"… And most people only have two options. Remain in the cage, toil on in a mire with no end in sight; or flee from the cage, just duck out on all of their duties and responsibilities and leave the rest of the world to attend itself while they run away scared and frustrated."

I have thought about it, she admitted to herself. Oh yes, she'd thought about it sometimes. Thought about just taking her travel bag with some clothes and a few possessions and getting on a plane or a bus to anywhere but where she was, thought about running away from her endless rounds of meetings and work that kept her awake long into the night. She'd daydreamed about how nice it would be if she could just leave it all behind and not look back, take a whole bunch of money and buy a house somewhere warm and tropical and spend the rest of her days sipping margaritas on the beach and ogling the cabana boys with their toned muscles rippling as they cleaned the pool, sweat and oil glistening in the warm afternoon sunshine on their tanned skin … She shook herself out of it. The problem was; she would look back, she knew she would. Honor and responsibility had been too well ingrained in her for her to just up and leave without saying a word to anyone (not that she really actually had that many goodbyes to make, a quick call to Mars would take care of her family and she could leave a note on her secretary's desk). Still, it was the principle of the thing.

Father, what should I do? she asked, hoping he would be able to give her the advice she so desperately needed, otherwise she was afraid that one day she would just get to sick of it all, sick of playing the pillar of the peace and sick of all of her duties. She didn't want that, but she didn't want the cage either.

"For most people there are only two options, they can stay in the cage or they can remain out of the cage… But you Relena, you have the third option…" her father continued.

"Third option?" she murmured aloud. 

"There is no cage."

The screen slowly faded to black and Relena was left with a lonely stretch of beach and her thoughts. 

"There is no cage," she murmured, wonder and realization dawning on her face. This was it, this was the thing she'd searched for inside of her for so long but could not find the words. Somehow her father had known, in that way that he had always known. 

"There is no cage…" her heart suddenly felt light, like a billion butterflies rising from the field in one cloud of flutter and color. Her duties weren't just duties, they weren't just necessary things to be endured; they were sacred trusts, privileges to be treasured as they were fulfilled. The endless travel from place to place was more than just a means to an end, was more than just a way to get from meeting to meeting; it was a sojourn, a pilgrimage, sacred journey and the journey meant just as much as the destination. She felt like Atlas sloughing off the weight of the heavens from her back as she leapt to her feet and danced there alone on the beach to the music of the sea, just danced for the sheer joy of dancing. She laughed out loud, like a child and smiled into the twilight.

"I'm free!" she called to the skies above her, twirling in place with her arms held out while the wind toyed with her hair.

"There is no cage. I'll walk the path that's strewn with thorns… no," she resolved. "I'll _dance on it!"_

The End.

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, the show and its characters are the creative property of Yoshiyuki Tomino and Hajime Yadate and the copyright propery of Sunrise. Bandai and Sotsu Agency.

Authors Note: I've had this little fic spinning around in my head for forever and it's been about half finished on a disc for almost that long and I finally finished it. For those who have asked… and there have been a lot of you; Chapter 14 of A Gathering of Dragons won't be out anytime in the immediate future. Before you turn away in disgust let me explain. I have chapter fourteen only about half completed but it's on the hard drive of my other computer which is currently not functional. It figures, I'm finally able to write again and I can't get to it. Well I hope you all are enjoying what I _am able to post for you all in an effort to appease you until such a time as I am able to post that fourteenth chapter. Just as kind of a heads up, Chapter 14 is going to be a bit of a time jump. It takes place about one year after the events of chapters twelve and thirteen._


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